am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
