Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My life is pants optional.
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