We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize