his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
