He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
