he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
