i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
