We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
