Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
