I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
