Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
