And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
