last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
