Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
