i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
