some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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