I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
