Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize