"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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