my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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