scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
