Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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