I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
did you just send me my own nude
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
