My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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