# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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