Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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