So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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