I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
