We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
