i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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