my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
