Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I wish there were birth control emojis
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have tasted many bathrooms
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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