So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Duck Duck Cougar?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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