yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
