if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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