he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
