Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
