didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
