It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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