just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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