the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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