great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
