i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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