Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
