I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
