Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
