Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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