Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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