oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
