in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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