What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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