it hurts more in the daytime
It was confusing and full of hummus
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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