okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
