pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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