Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
