Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
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