We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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