I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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