Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
