I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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