Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
