Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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