Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
