so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
