Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
